When we are in the UK, we drink a lot of tea. Some of this is because we’re jetlagged and it keeps us awake. Some of it is because – as former Floridians – we’re often cold and damp and need a pick-me-up. But mostly it’s because it’s one of our favourite things about living in the UK. We share here everything we’ve learned about this marvelous beverage, and particularly about afternoon tea.
Considered by some to be the primary justification for the British Empire, tea originates in Asia. But like so much they’ve appropriated, the British have put their own stamp on it, most notably in the elevation of it into the afternoon tea. (We mean no disrespect to the various Asian tea ceremonies.) While we consume tea all day long, switching after dinner to an herbal variety (a ‘tisane’), we focus here on the tea that comes with a meal, as this is the Platonic Form of tea.
Afternoon Tea
Afternoon tea (also ‘cream’ or ‘low’ tea) is the stuff! Incidentally, ‘high’ tea is not so named because it’s fancier – quite the opposite – but because of the chairs: aristocrats sit on low chairs and workers eat their much more substantial evening tea on high chairs. The classic tea (which we’ve recently treated ourselves to at the Randolph Hotel on Beaumont Street) comprises three courses and appears in the afternoon. 4:00 is the classic time, but should be able to find it somewhere any time between about 3:00 and 5:00. Be sure to request additional hot water; as the tea steeps it will become very strong and you’ll want to water it down.
Earl Grey is a traditional afternoon tea, but we don’t like it, so we stick with the classic English Breakfast. Irish Breakfast is also splendid but not always available outside Ireland. Most places, however, have a dozen other options, including Darjeeling, jasmine, oolong, and a wide variety of herbal teas. You will get your own pot and a strainer, because – this goes without saying, right? – the tea will be loose tea. After you’ve poured tea into your cup, add milk, sugar, lemon (but probably not all three!).
Tea Accoutrements (the Good Stuff)
First comes the savoury course, finger sandwiches, crustless and on several kinds of bread. Typical fillings include cucumber, egg mayo [shudder], coronation chicken (a chicken salad), smoked salmon and cream cheese, ham and mustard, and roast beef and horseradish. Scones (‘skohnz‘) follow, plain and/or fruited, served with clotted cream and jam and, ideally, lemon curd. We finish with sweet pastries, often petits-fours. At the Randolph, tea includes a glass of champagne, which is a good idea on all occasions and especially this one.
Whatever the size of the table, it will be entirely occupied by all of this food and the fiddly bits that accompany it. And whatever the size of your belly, it will also be entirely occupied. Wee sandwiches may not sound like a lot of food but chances are good that this will be your final meal of the day. Which is funny, as it was originally designed to fill that peckish gap between the noon meal and dinner at 8. (PS if you are a carb-avoider, this is not the meal for you.)
Tea Etiquette:
- One does not extend one’s pinkie; this is elitist. What to do if you have big hammy hands and the cup, as it usually is, is delicate? Curl the fingers toward your palm, under the cup
- Finger sandwiches are ok to eat with your fingers (hence the name), but if the pastries are larger than a petit-four, consider a fork.
- Worried about whether to put jam or cream on your scone first? You’re golden either way: the people of Devon are cream-firsters, and the Cornish, jam-firsters. If you get a funny look, you can always pretend you’re from down the road rather than right here.
- Scones are not to be sliced like English muffins but rather broken like rolls.
- Whilst having a proper tea, we find ourselves wanting to talk about the servant problem or the disturbances in the Colonies. Apparently that isn’t done any more.
Do you love the cuppa as much as we do?
