Everywhere we’ve lived on our journey so far has had a bidet. Even the tiniest of bathrooms. Being American, we view them with a mixture of confusion and distaste. All we knew was that they had something to do with parts. Recently, however, a concatenation of events has brought them front and centre, so to speak. Several guests, when they saw our various bidets, began conversations about them. One was a big fan (and he was an American). Another invested in one for self and parents (this one, as a matter of fact). Early on in our Roman stay, the kitchen sink clogged up. When the plumber came, he fixed it. One of the questions he asked was whether we were having any trouble with the bidet (they are on the same system). To which the honest answer was no; not in the least. Then the New York Times wrote about them (that link will only work if you’re a subscriber).
Background Information
All of this has made us curious. So we’ve done some reading. A lot of reading. Aficionados – and there are lots of them, about 80% of the world according to some reports – say that bidets are more hygienic than toilet paper, and also more eco-friendly. The few detractors seem to worry about vaginal infections from improper use or sprays of water going everywhere. And the rest of us remain … confused.
We now know Italian and French law mandates a bidet for all bathrooms in homes and hotels. Although bidet use in France, interestingly, is reportedly down. And so many people use the bidet in Italy that there was no toilet-paper shortage here during the pandemic. We also know where the word bidet comes from (it’s French – so chic! – dating from the 17th century, and it means ‘little horse’). Because you straddle it like one. Or at least you used to; there are now all kinds of fancy attachments that mean that porcelain other-thing-that-isn’t-a-toilet may soon be a thing of the past.
From asking a few delicately-phrased questions, we have learned that Italian parents use the bidet to clean their children when they change them. And that if our Italian friends were to discover that we are not regular bidet-users, they would assuredly think of us as fairly unclean. (We won’t tell them if you don’t.) Finally, we’ve learned that in Italy there are special bidet soaps (sapone intimo), pH balanced in different ways for men, women, and children. Here and elsewhere there are also special, personalised cloths.
We Back into the Bidet
Armed with all this information, we gave it a go. We’re confident that we did it properly, but our results were mixed. At best. While we didn’t dislike the experience as much as we expected to, we were also not immediate converts. We are not convinced it’s a hygiene improvement, all things considered; our bidet had low water pressure and the process took a long time. Then there is the drying, which either uses toilet paper – in which case, up goes your consumption again – or a special cloth (see above). Or you just hang out until you air-dry (which takes an even longer time).
We’re not saying we’ll never use one, but we remain unconvinced. Once we get to Japan, we’re interested in trying the higher-tech versions, which we suspect might improve all of these factors (there’s even a blow-dry option). But at this point, when faced with a traditional porcelain bidet, we’ll stick with our traditional way.
