How we Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Kippers

We have now, thanks to the generosity of our Gloucester Green fishmonger, been introduced to the wonders of kippers, that classic of the British Empire. This man has not led us wrong once: for five weeks in a row he has, with a wink, recommended the tuna, the anchovies, the scallops, etc. So this week we asked him what was good, and he said, ‘You can’t go wrong with a Manx kipper.’ And friends, it turns out that he was right: herewith the tale of our first encounter with the kipper.

Before we get down to it, a few words about Charlie. He is kind to us, in the way you would be to a well-meaning pair of idiots who are also customers. We don’t actually know when the market opens, but in order to make ourselves memorable, we always show up early. Plus the selection is better, or so we think. We are usually his first customers of the day, so have a running joke with Charlie, reminding him to turn on the credit-card machine (he’d forgotten the first time). He is one of the many people in the market who helps us to feel like temporary locals (see our post about settling in to a new home quickly).

Care and Feeding of Kippers

Ok; back to the kippers. We say to Charlie that we have no doubt a Manx kipper is just the thing but we have never eaten one (Manx = from the Isle of Man). Charlie gives the impression of having seen it all before, of not being a man easy to surprise, but at this distressing news, his mouth gapes open. ‘Are you ‘avin’ me on?’ he asks, and we assure him that we are not. Given that he thinks of us as barely functional, he believes our implausible tale, shaking his head at the wickedness in the world. We sense that he knows this shocking state of events is not our fault, so we push our luck as he bags up two of them. ‘What do we do with them?’ we ask. ‘Best is poached. Boil the water. Take it off the heat and then let ’em sit in the water, with a lid on. Five minutes. Broiled is also good but it stinks up the whole house’.

So that is just what we do (poached, not grilled, and the house was plenty stinky). We add lemon, salt, and pepper after the poaching. We eat them for dinner, using that steamer set mentioned in the description of our kitchen, with broccoli raab (broccolini) we got from the vegetable lady who calls us luv. (She calls everyone luv, but it still makes us feel special.) We are well aware this isn’t the done thing. Kippers are a breakfast food, served with poached or scrambled eggs and toast. And we are also aware that they are not that different from smoked salmon, which we do eat with scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast. But we are not quite up to it. (Please don’t tell Charlie – he will be so disappointed.)

The Verdict

If you like smoked fish, you will like kippers, which are cold-smoked herring. Ten seconds’ worth of internet research tells us that Manx kippers are extra-smoky, and we can confirm from lived experience. Being herring, they have lots of small bones, some of which we ate, with no ill-effect. But the skin and the majority of the bones come off easily. They could not be easier to cook and are very flavourful. (Even for dinner.) We would certainly eat them again, perhaps even as part of the full English.

Fan of the humble kipper? Hate ’em? Let us know!