This post expands on our series of questions about whether you are ready to become a meandering minimalist. If the answer is no, or not yet, we offered some options. Then, Part 1 asked if you actually like travel and Part 2 encouraged you to think through your obligations. This post discusses your travel companions, the person or persons who will form your entire social circle for the duration of your travel. We feel like nobody talks about this, but we’ve found it to be the most important aspect of long-term travel.
How Should You Pick Travel Companions?
If you are partnered up, this is probably a no-brainer: we don’t know many couples who travel extensively by themselves apart from work. But even if the decision seems obvious, it’s worth considering how you interact with potential companions, especially during stressful situations. (We are not experts in travelling with children, but there are pluses and minuses there too.)
First of all, you will rely upon this group for most of your human companionship, so you’d better get along. Long-distance communication has never been easier or cheaper, but you’re still basically stuck with each other. If you don’t spend a lot of time with your potential companions now, try a week or two together without any other people around, avoiding all devices. (Or be cooped up together during a pandemic; that’s also a good stress-test!)
Useful Traits in a Companion
Obviously, you want this to be someone or someones you genuinely like. But there are also some practical aspects to consider. If we were creating a perfect travel companion, she would have many of the following characteristics. This isn’t how it works, of course, but we have found this list a useful heuristic for deciding whether we want to take a vacation with a particular group of friends or whether we will not enjoy it At All. The first list is group skills; you only need one of your potential companions to have them.
- Good sense of direction/navigational abilities
- Language ability/willingness to look and sound and feel stupid without getting upset
- Cool head in a crisis
- Willingness to talk to random people you meet (neither of us has this, so we have to take turns!)
- Detail-orientation plus patience: someone has to buy the tickets and make sure you get to the train on time
The second list focuses on group dynamics. Longer-term partners and families have often but by no means always worked through these in the course of a relationship. But not always to everyone’s satisfaction. Great news: this is just like real life, and you will get even more practice on the road! Travel is stressful and all of the unspoken friction will come out. Please at least consider talking about the following with any potential travel companions:
- Attitude toward travel/this trip: what are your goals? Are you going to museums all day, or are you on vacation? Will you be dancing all night or getting up early? If there’s a plan, is it okay to deviate from it?
- How will you make decisions? How will you resolve conflicts? Is everybody okay not getting their way all of the time?
- How will you handle it when things go wrong?
- Who is responsible for what, explicitly? (The trip Laurel took with five other people in West Africa was very low-budget, so we did everything ourselves: one person was nearly always purifying water, two were finding food and fuel, one was pitching tents or negotiating for lodging, one was doing laundry, and one arranging transportation to the next place. Now that’s teamwork!)
- How does the money work? Who pays for what, and who gets to decide what is worth the money and what isn’t?
- How do you feel about the world you’ve left behind: it is okay to be on your phone all day or is that breaking the rules?
- Is it okay to have alone time, or will that hurt someone’s feelings?
- Finally, it is always more pleasant to be around people who share your outlook on the world: if you see danger around every corner and your potential travel companions are all hopelessly naïve (or vice versa), things will be unnecessarily difficult.
Might You Go it Alone?
If you are planning a solo venture, make sure you are genuinely content being alone most of the time: you will probably make friends, but not necessarily when you are at your loneliest. You might meander in places where you already know people and/or have a specific set of things to do (e.g. language courses or, though we shudder to use the word, a ‘job’). And, of course, if you go places where you speak even the rudiments of the language, you will have opportunities to meet new people. But you will need to rely upon yourself most of the time. Don’t get us wrong – solo travel is fabulous! But it’s also difficult.
Again, we realize you are likely to already have a clear sense of whom your travel companions might be. But we promise your trip will be better if you take a bit of time to set expectations. Also, let us know if there are key characteristics you think we’ve missed!
